


nostalgia

by wereheretostay



Category: Interstellar (2014)
Genre: F/M, i just want my children to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:57:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3399386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wereheretostay/pseuds/wereheretostay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>so what are you going to do now?</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	nostalgia

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think of others following in Coop's path, and there being a whole new life set up on Edmunds. I envision scientists and professors and everyone in between coexisting and building something virgin and special there, similar to the relationship that stems between Coop and Amelia. This is a product of the wild and nebulous (ha, literally) ideas my mind dreams up about the years after.

Cooper listens to her as she sleeps, her breath even, warm air drifting over his neck as he falls in and out of sleep in the bed next to her. She sounds so peaceful, serene, quiet, _too quiet_ \- her chest rises with a start, a cold inhale raising goosebumps over Cooper's skin as he rolls over to face Amelia. 

She still looks calm despite her ragged breath, she looks calm as she tells him that she misses Earth. She misses _home_. She tells him she doesn't know how she's going to live the rest of her life here so weighed down on the planet that had embraced her coldly with a single corpse and whispers of hope that had quickly turned into desperation. 

Cooper's expression doesn't change. Perhaps it would have if he had known what his words meant, but instead his lips merely move softly in a question he doesn't fully expect to be answered. "Then why did you stay?"

Amelia turns away from him, pushes herself up with her elbow to stare at the wall with a pillow grasped in her bare arms. Her fingers are digging into the plain white fabric. Her bottom lip is quivering as she bites down on it.

Maybe it was the way Cooper had said it, maybe it sounded too accusatory or worse, like no detectable emotion. Maybe it wasn't him at all and Amelia just needed to scream for no other reason than to hear herself yell the words and make sure Cooper heard them too, but when she turns around again her eyes are filled with anger and hurt. 

It's as if a new person had replaced the Amelia Cooper had grown to know so well, but yet, he realizes he's just as familiar with the hot-angered and broken Amelia. Possibly even more so, because he can relate to this side of her, the raw and emotional and candor side of her that he so rarely sees. 

"You know, you're right. I don't know why I stayed. I don't know why I didn't just off myself right then and there - no one would have blamed me, right? You had lied to me - you _sacrificed_ yourself - and left me alone just like my mother had, like my father did, like Edmunds did. Everything left my body, Cooper. It was all gone just like that and I collapsed and thought I was never going to get up again." She shakes her head as pink fingers twist even deeper into the pillow case. 

Cooper speaks softly from his spot on the bed next to her, but oh so far away from comforting her. He's beginning to regret he ever said anything. He should've known better than to engage in her nonsensical but meaningful murmuring at three in the morning. "But you didn't own anybody anything, Ames. You didn't own the world anything, Amelia, you didn't owe your father anything, you di-"

"I owed you, Cooper! You saved me, more than once! You were an idiot, and did an idiotic thing that cost us much more than my life was worth, but you did it anyway!" she exclaims, jumping off the bed and onto the cold floor. "When you came to NASA, you gave us all hope. We had no idea what we were going to have to do in order to be successful. We had no competent pilots, but we had to send someone out anyway to save our _species_. You saw the way my father's eyes brightened, it was as if our whole team had come back to life. We had a fighting chance again, and if nothing else, I stayed for that. I stayed for you because you had given back to my father and I something that we thought we had lost."

Cooper cuts her off quickly, beginning to rise himself. "But I-"

"No, listen to me! I stayed because I knew what kind of a man you were." She points at him with an angry finger. Her hands are trembling as she gestures wildly. "I knew you kept your promises. I had no idea why because for all I knew you were most likely dead, but I was hanging onto a hope that there could be some - unfathomable - reason that you were going to come back. It was stupid, it was childish, it was selfish, but we had no data on the black hole! What was to say you didn't survive? That was what I hung on to, every day, every minute, every damn _second_ , Joseph, in order to keep fighting." Amelia snarls out his name, surprising both of them; she knows he doesn't prefer it and so it's all the more pointed and consequential. Her voice is rising, lilting up and down with rare emotion. 

"I had lost everything, and I had no idea what the hell was going to happen to me. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I stayed for you. Take your damn answer, Coop. I stayed for you." Throwing the pillow back onto he bed, she pauses before she covers her mouth with a lupine palm. She becomes suddenly calm, inhaling and exhaling deeply before speaking again without moving. "I'm... I'm sorry. It's not-..."

When she doesn't finish Cooper gently slides off the bed and shifts over to her in bare feet. He approaches her as if she could burst any moment even though he knows she's done from the way her shoulders fall slack like the tears had from her eyes and the words had from her lips. With tender movements he takes her cold hands in his warm ones and pulls them to his chest. They stay like that for a heavy moment, forehead pressed against forehead and skin touching skin, breaths weaving together in a curbing dance. 

Cooper lets their laced fingers fall in between them. "So what are you going to do now?" 

It's a long while before Amelia speaks. Her breathing returns to normal, her skin looses its unnatural color that was both parts blood blush and an effect of the plant's not-quite-earthly air, and her grip on Cooper's hands loosens. 

She whispers, "I'm going to live every moment of my life in memory of them, but not _for_ them. _For_ you, but only because you are here with me." She takes a deep breath and sets her jaw. She was never that good with words, but it's a revival - the way she lifts her chin and nods her head without hesitation - she's returning with every bit of determination and bravery and love that show through in her glistening eyes and logical yet loaded words. "But for _myself_ , because I deserve to live my life for me instead of owing my every action to those who are no longer here to realize how much of my life ended up belonging to them instead of me."

Cooper smiles delicately. "Good."

_A/N - this is for the lovely person (A_guest) that commented on my last Amelia/Brand fic. Thank you for commenting, and I hope you enjoyed! I tried to sneak in a little use of Cooper's first name so hooray for that lol. I think I may be forming a little headcanon about Cooper and why he's never been called his first name, which is so completely unnecessary but I don't care omg. xx_


End file.
